Kawarimi Knakworst no Jutsu!

Ok, de titel is zo waus dat alleen Nederlandse Japanfreaks die Naruto kijken, en mij kennen hem begrijpen. Hmmm. Niemand?

Well, my parents sent me a package. Despite my best efforts to convince them otherwise they are still convinced that the concept of 'cookie' does not exist in Japan, so they decided to send me Dutch cookies. Yay. Fortunately there was cheese as well, but the most notable missing part was sausage :( A famous Dutch snack called 'Broodje Unox' is one of my favorite snacks, and it was supposed to be included in the package. It's like a hot dog, but bigger: a bun, a huge sausage (those words will get me some nice visitors from Goole o_0) and some mustard sauce. So I was quite surprised when I opened the package and found only the bun and the mustard sauce. Damn you! Japanese customs!

Ok, back to blogging. I'm quite relaxed lately, and I feel like writing stuff on my blog for no apparent reason. Back at work, and during daily life I'm falling back in my usual pattern. I find I like to be an observer. Just watch what other people are doing and analyze their behavior. I guess that's another way of saying that I like to sit back and relax while other people do the work. Or not. It's interesting to see people interact with each other, anyway, and to see them make progress.

For example, 2 people at work. One of them has been here a while, the other has recently joined. I'm assisting both of them with their work, and with using the programs I developed. It's interesting for me to see people understand concepts that they previously didn't do, and use their knowledge to fix complicated problems, that used to require my help. Or, in the case of the new person, I'm amazed at the learning speed of someone who had previously little or no knowledge about programming or the field we are all working in. It's nice to be surprised by people like this :) Or maybe my expectations are just too low :X

Besides that, I was recently reminded (by myself) about the quality of life, and how happy I am with my job. I got a good opportunity to realize again that what I have right now is quite rare, and quite hard to get, no matter how good you are. People from around the world come here, and they don't get along like colleagues in a company, they get along as good friends. I think it's hard to find a company without any hostility, but I realized yesterday that nobody in our company ever gets angry. Everybody is nice, and the working atmosphere is wonderful. It makes me happy that I decided to stay here.

I want to buy a laptop! I'm so annoyed actually. I spent more than a month trying to find a good looking, good performing small laptop. Finally, I decided to settle on a Sony Vaio, only to find that I couldn't order it from their stupid website because the 2gb memory option was not available for ordering... So I decided to reconsider. Maybe not a Sony Vaio, or maybe a slightly bigger Vaio. But I could even go for a different brand. I just really want a new laptop before my sister comes to Japan in June and before I go back to Holland in August. I should order soon. Argghhh, the terrible unbearable stress in my life is excruciating. Yes it is.

I finished reading Tolkien's new book: The Children of Hurin. As it turns out, it was exactly the same story as was told in the Silmarillion, with only some small changes and some additions. It's still a brilliant story, but I wouldn't recommend it to anyone as a standalone story, though. Too complicated. Read the Silmarillion instead, which is 10 times more complicated, but at least it contains the whole story of the world wherein the story of Turin takes place. It's interesting linguistically as well, since Tolkien basically made up several unique languages for the books. There's one quote I like:
"A Túrin Turambar turun ambartanen"
"Master of doom by doom mastered!"

Good, geek points up! Didn't get much geek points recently. Been kind of bored with anime, since most of the new stuff is quite predictable and boring. If you already know the studio that made it you can guess everything from the anime without having to watch it. Instead, I'm switching to manga now, and some older manga at that. In English though, so my Japanese is not improving at all. And I'm getting frustrated at that, because I will download 17 volumes of a manga, be completely caught up in the story, and then get pissed off because I want to download volume 18 and can't find it anywhere. I guess I'll go the store then and buy the Japanese version, which should decrease my reading speed by a factor of ten..

I like to end things. I like to think: "Ok, this part of my life is over, now a distinctly new and different part of my life begins". But always it's just a line that continues, with old parts and new parts overlapping, and eventually changing my whole life in a way that I don't even realize. I need to learn to stop thinking about my life like it is composed of different 'levels', like a game, and realize that it's just a continuous line. I also need to stop underestimating myself and be more confident. Oh, and losing some weight might be a good idea too :)

Still, mind control is doing a lot for me. That is, controlling my own mind. Somehow, for me it's always been easy to consciously control my life when I have a goal, or when I keep some though in the back of my mind. If my mind is clear, I can go on a diet without ever feeling bad. Of course I will feel hungry, but I am stopping my mind from making me feel bad. I practiced this a lot when I was in Holland, but Japan made me too busy and unfocused to keep it up. I'm focussed again now, and I am forcing myself to be focused, so I can use this technique, because I need it. It's still easy for me, but all the recent events in my life have made me realize that some things influence my mind a LOT, and it's hard even now to stop my mind from wandering off and thinking about how much better (how much different?) my life could have been right now, or how great it could be in the future should something completely impossible happen. I am forcing myself to think in the now. To be relaxed. To be happy with what I have. To enjoy life. I think it's working.



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(never read back your post, always push the Publish button right away. It makes for a more interesting read!)

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