Ponderings

I feel the most at home where other people feel the least at home. I could never feel as much at home in Homeland as I feel in Workland, just because I don't belong here. The relation is clear here. People who were born here feel more at home. People who I hang out with feel less at home. Such is the way of things, and I am comfortable with this. I do not belong in the place where I was born. I am not native enough. That is why I prefer other places, like this place, where you don't have to become a native. If it's impossible to become native everybody accepts you for what you are. 

(I like to not-belong somewhere)

A hopeless situation is the kind of situation I like most. If everything was happy and good then I would be expected to be happy all the time. If everything was happy and good everything would be normal, and I could not be happy. A certain degree of unhappiness is required to make me feel happy. If there are no bad things in life, then how are we supposed to appreciate the good things? Only a truly thirsty person really appreciates the taste of tap water.

(I appreciate suffering)

I am a problem solver. That is my calling in life. If there are problems, I solve them. If there are no problems, I create some, and then solve them. If everything is good, then I break it, and then fix it and make it even better. Like an architect who smashes buildings right after he finishes them, and then builds an even better building in the same spot, only to break it again, ad infinitum. Analyzing a problem is fun. Thinking of a solution is even more fun. Making the solution can be interesting too. Maintaining something is a lot of work. If it's not perfect it's too much work to maintain, so it's better to smash it and build something new. If it's perfect then it doesn't need much maintenance work. The thing maintains itself. 

(I lost track. Is this about relationships or programming?)

Posted in Thoughts