Looking for a purpose

What to do with my time? I've been thinking a lot about what I would really like to do in my free time, and I found out that I don't really have anything that I really would like to do. I always try to be efficient in my ways of spending time, so I think about what the best possible way to spend time would be. And then I end up doing something useless just because I can't decide on what I want to do. 

I'm thinking of some kind of project, because that could keep me occupied for a long time. I'm thinking programming, because that's what I'm good at and that's what I like to do. It doesn't have to be useful, as I often seem to be more motivated to do something fun than something useful. but usually I end up fantasizing about huge projects that would take many people many years to develop, and I get scared to start it. Then again I can't be motivated to do small projects because I feel I'd rather be doing a big project. And then my work is affecting me too, because I don't want to do the same things at home that I do at work, so that's usually where my motivation stops. 

Hm. Well. Maybe I should just quit my job, take a year off and do whatever I want. Maybe then I'll be able to motivate myself for a bigger project. :D

Side note: ever since I've been lacking a purpose I've been spending my time sleeping. This may sound boring but I am finding out that I can explore my dreams and influence them if I go to sleep with the right mindset. I guess if I can't program the perfect fantasy world, then at least I can dream it ;)

Posted in Tech , Thoughts