Brilliant

Of all the things that have been going on in my life, of all the interesting things I could mention here, the only thing I can thing of sharing is a picture of the brilliant sashimi (raw fish) I ate this afternoon:

img_5055

Recently I am trying a bit to isolate myself. I'm taking more time for myself and I'm feeling good about doing it. It seems that my friends are perhaps having a difficult time understanding this. Another little something that can create a look of surprise on their faces is when I tell them that I like my work. Yes, there are actually people on this world who like what they do. I enjoy my current job very much. It's the kind of work that I like to do. Designing. Building. Creating new systems that gather information that I can control and manipulate. Perfect place for a control freak like me, if I do say so myself. The best part is that I've been with this company for a long time already. I can see where the company is going. I can envision what they will need 3 months from now and 6 months from now, and I am able to create it. That's a good feeling. 

I have so much things I want to do in this company before I leave.  So much things to accomplish, still. Yet my attitude to work has definitely changed. The end is perhaps not near yet, but I am thinking about it. Thinking about what I will do after all this work is complete. No longer am I thinking about relaxing another year here in Atsugi, rather I am exploring every possible future I could have after this job is over, and I realize that I have a great many options available to me. That's a good feeling, again. 

It's not all good feelings, though. As I am gaining more self-confidence in my work and my own lifestyle, I seem to lose confidence in others. I can no longer see the people I deal with as 'just  people'. Instead I see people who are trying to manipulate me for their own good, trying to take advantage of me. I guess everybody gets a bit more cynical as they get older, but for me this kind of came in a burst. Let that be a lesson to me, and to others: people will never do what you want them to do. So don't expect anything. 

Hm, that was rather negative. I'd better throw in a happy picture:

cat

This is a cat. Cats are independent. They always do what they like. They don't listen to people, and they don't want to sit still and let people take pictures of them. Cats don't have owners, they have servants. Cats are like people.

Posted in Daily Life , Thoughts

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