I woke up this morning well before my alarm clock. I finished some housely chores, something I have been neglecting a bit lately, and then headed out to the station. My backpack already packed; everything I needed for the test at the ready. I arrived at the station and waited over 10 minutes and the train still did not arrive. There were no announcements of bad service but that's just TFL for you. The only thing more unreliable than TFL is Dutch national rail. But I digress. As I was waiting for the train I finally took the time to organize my thoughts on taking the Japanese Language Proficiency Test for the second time. My gut is telling me not to do it, but I was never able to properly justify it until I stood there at the station, waiting for the train. When it clicked, I just left and went back home.
Don't get me wrong: I still want to go back to Japan some day. That's the only reason I am taking the test: to make getting a job in Japan easier. I do not believe that taking the test will improve my Japanese. The first test did. It made me aware of what to expect and what elements I needed to improve upon. Truthfully: I haven't studied much at all. I have been focusing on lots of things lately. Some of those were more important than the JLPT, most of those weren't. I've been slacking off. I could waste another afternoon taking a test that I know will be borderline, gambling on chance that I will pass this time, or I can just study properly and ace it the next time I try it. I can be better, and I don't need a test to know where I stand.
I'm still listening to my gut.. What a strange thing to do for a person like me..