As I said in the last post, it's been an interesting couple of days. But let's look forward instead of backward. Tomorrow I"ll be in New York. Two weeks of relaxation and reminiscing with old friends. New York has never been a place I particularly wanted to see, but seeing how famous it is I knew I would eventually go there. Finally the moment has come.
And the circumstances in which I'm going couldn't be better. I've thrown away the parts of my life that I hated but I managed to keep the two things I need the most: my girlfriend and my job. Surprisingly (perhaps) they were both ok with my extended leave-taking, which means that for the first time since I uttered the phrase "I'll be living out of my suitcase" last year, I'll actually be living out of my suitcase. How great is that?
It's not a common lifestyle, living out of your suitcase. And I consider myself lucky to have found a company that lets me work from home, or even when travelling. It's the perfect solution for a little piece of unrest like me. My job lends itself well to working remotely so I'll be able to jump in if there's a crisis situation, or for other things.
There exists a paradox in my mind though that I have been unable to resolve to my full satisfaction. Behaviourally I am exhibiting signs of unrest, of anti-settling-down behaviour, yet I've made both private and professional commitments that require me to be responsible and reliable. The issue is not that this kind of behaviour cannot work, the issue is that it does. To me that seems contradictory. I can't quite explain it myself. If I am not exhibiting this behaviour I feel as if my life is passing me by, yet when I'm "on the road" as I will be from tomorrow, I cling to the stable elements that I can, in a certain fashion, take with me on my travels. Now that I actually have a girlfriend and a job to take with me, I am a very happy man. I seem to be both vagabonding and steady-lifing at the same time. Am I deluding myself? Or if I think about it more, will it seem less like a paradox?
Lots of questions. I'm sure the answers will come to me during my trip.