The colorful wolf

I have a theory. If you've been getting a lot of good luck, then there must be a time after which you'll get a lot of bad luck. Something like karma I guess. A person cannot always be lucky or unlucky. It must change after a while. Ever since last September I've only been having good luck. Really good luck. It seems the bad luck has finally caught up with me now. And now that it has, I realize that it doesn't have anything to do with luck at all, and that it's just myself, who is creating the good luck and the bad luck in my life. I can decide to turn it around if I want to, but maybe I am looking for a bit of bad luck right now, because I feel... unhappy, or uncomfortable, with so much good luck. I'm not used to it.

My life is a mess. Things I never even thought about pop into my life and force me to think about them. I don't have much answers. I know how to handle my life, and my problems, but I'm always afraid of making the wrong decisions. So far, my life has worked out quite nicely, based on decisions I didn't even think about much. If I would describe the most important choices in my life so far they would have to be these:
- Choosing to study Information Technology after high school
- Trying the pilot training program at the KLM
- Coming to Japan
The pilot training was something I thought about very long, and it was the only choice that did not go the way I wanted, since I failed to qualify for the education. A lot has changed since then, and I'm about to make two more choices that will greatly affect my life, in the near future and in the far future.

I have secrets now. I used to put everything about my life on this blog, but I cannot anymore. I have secrets that I need to protect. Close friends will know or at least guess some of my secrets, but I am the only who knows them all, and I will keep them for myself. It is another piece of life's wisdom, which as usual I have learned the hard way.

(also, today is the first day in weeks that I've had a good sleep. yatta!)

((if you look back at your life 10 years from now, will you be happy about the decisions you made when you were young?))