Ever since I've come back from Africa I feel revived. Suddenly things that I thought were important before don't seem to matter any more, while other things are now at the center of my thoughts. My job seems less important. And I couldn't care less about what people think of me right now. I've figured out which direction my life is headed to, and that changes the priorities of a lot of things. There's a clarity in my mind that I haven't had for years. I feel happy.
I am actually happy that it's weekend! For months now I couldn't care less about whether it was a weekend or a weekday, because I was equally happy in my free time and in my work time. I am not less happy at work right now, but I realized that I want to spend as much time as possible on myself and my own life. I don't consider work to be part of that. Some people might think that's not a smart thing to say in a public place, but I don't care. I don't think it's important.
Not caring about something is not necessarily negative. Or positive, for that matter. If you don't care about anything you are truly free. Your life will be truly empty, too. Caring too much can get you stuck. I think I care too much about my current lifestyle, which is why I was failing to find new opportunities for myself, for work and for my relationship. Not caring opens the door to a path where you don't have to worry about anything, where you can do things that you normally cannot do. Who knows where that path will lead.
I am free, no matter what rules surround me. If I find them tolerable, I tolerate them; if I find them too obnoxious, I break them. I am free because I know that I alone am morally responsible for everything I do. -Robert A. Heinlein
Despite all that, my smoking neighbor still annoys me and I want to kill him.