Settling down

As my life stabilizes I am running out of things to shake my life up a bit. Little by little things are settling down. Less chores, less unexpected things happening, more daily life daily-life-ness. Even work has become normal. Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love my work. But today when I woke up I finally realized that my excitement level has been gradually dropping ever since I came to London a couple of months ago, and now I'm back to 'normal'.  I spent the first 3 hours today feeling half asleep, stumbling through life like a zombie.

At the moment I'm not motivated to do more programming after work. It's as if I've run out of mental energy after programming for a whole day. This feeling is entirely unpredictable: some days I program like a madman at work and yet (therefore?) I feel like programming on a hobby project at night. Other days I only get an average amount done at work, or I'm doing non-programming stuff, and I just can't be bothered to do anything when I get home. It's the part I like the least about having a day job: it's not that I don't have enough time, I don't have enough mental energy to really do the things I like. If my job was any less satisfying I'd be a tad bit unhappy about that, but as it is I am quite comfortable with spending my energy on work.

It's so easy to get caught up in the daily/weekly routine that I sometimes forget what I wanted to do in the first place. I've gone from planned cycle trip to planned suitcase living to relaxing in the mundanity of the London suburb. But the plan still stands: I want to travel and I want to live for an extended period of time in a variety of foreign countries. This is but the preparationitary stage for future adventures. If I didn't have that to look forward to I might become depressed. But I do have that to look forward to, so in fact I am quite happy :)

If only I had a bit more mental energy. Maybe coffee...

Posted in Daily Life , Thoughts