The road

Life has been stressful lately. My programming buddy went on holiday yesterday and I'm now the only developer working on our project. It's a new max of responsibility for me, but I can't take it too seriously. If I take things too seriously I'll stress out. It's exactly at those moments that I calm myself by thinking about the road.

The road is a concept. It's the idea of leaving nothing behind, casting off all your baggage and setting off into the sunrise towards a new goal. Having done that once I can't help but long for that experience again. Ever since I came to London my mind has been cluttering up, slowly gathering "things that I should keep in my mind" as I plod along in my work and my social life. I keep getting more things. I keep getting a more involved life. And I'm enjoying it, too. Don't get me wrong, I greatly enjoy the amazing experience that is my life right now. But I'm also greatly looking forward to throwing it all away and starting from scratch again somewhere else.

Before you say that you can just take a holiday and travel around: you really can't. It's a completely different thing. A trip is a nice break from your 'real' life, but you are leaving a real life behind. You have something to return to; something that will be in your mind, waiting to be loaded up again upon your return. When I first went to Japan I was planning to return to Holland after one year. I decided to stay a while longer while still harboring the intention to return. And then it was too late, and I realized that I couldn't go back. Despite that I left Japan to find out where I really wanted to be, and came up without an answer. One year after that trip I decided that perhaps where I wanted to be was not a fixed location (at least not yet). I want to be on the road, in-between places, always on the go. And even if my timetable for the whole road thing has been a bit delayed, I am sticking to my plan. It's what keeps me sane.

Posted in Thoughts