Do you ever find yourself fighting against yourself (mentally)? I certainly have. It happens to be so often that I want to / should do something, but I keep on putting it off and end up doing something else. For example, I haven't done the dishes in a couple of days now, and I was determined to clean up my room and vacuum it this weekend, but I stopped halfway and played games instead. It may sound like I'm a lazy bum, and actually that's mostly true :D but eventually the activities just start piling up, and like a master Tetris player I clear the entire level and gather a huge amount of points in one go. (or I fail and it's game over o_0). It's hard to find the balance between controlling your life and just letting it all happen.
I can't believe how difficult it is to convince myself to do something. My brain is myself, so why doesn't it do what I say? If I tell myself to do the dishes I end up cycling. If I want to clean my room I end up looking for a new job. If I want to find a new job I end up doing the dishes. And if I want to do the dishes I end up watching movies on my PC.
I blame the Internet! I've always been a sucker for convenience, and Internet just makes it too easy for me to waste my time on something else. Experiencing the Internet every day for several hours is destroying my willpower and turning me into a vegetable (or an apple, perhaps). Ok, obviously it's my own fault and not the internet. Anyway, since Africa I've found my willpower switch again, and I'm looking forward to actually cleaning my room and doing the dishes.
Tomorrow.
(And speaking of brains, how could I possibly have missed THIS?!? It's the most amazing news I've seen in a long time!)