Being able to enjoy yourself

Lately I'm in one of those moods where I have trouble finding myself. It's difficult to relax when the things you usually enjoy the most are making you on edge. I just can't seem to find my place. When I'm working I want to have free time. When I have free time I watch anime but feel like I should be doing something useful. So I do some programming instead but can't find the concentration or focus to do what I want. Then I play a game that I normally do to relax but instead I find it tedious and annoying. Then I go to sleep with a feeling of being on autopilot and the next day the cycle beings again.

The thing that mystifies me is, there is absolutely no external reason for this. Work is not too busy and I'm doing fun tasks. I feel appreciated and I'm doing useful stuff. The space game I'm working on is quite possibly the one thing that I am most motivated to write in my whole programming career. My other de-stressing activities have settled into a pattern that I'm very comfortable with, so no complaints there. The weather is good. I'm cycling a lot lately, feeling physically fulfilled. I'm going on a holiday with my girlfriend this weekend, so that's great too. Yet somehow I feel like there's something missing. Something else, something more I should be doing. And I can't for the life of me figure out what it is.

What am I missing?

Edit: perhaps related: Saturation of luxury.

Posted in Daily Life , Thoughts