Reflection

I've been at my parent's place for a couple of months now, living a life of comparative luxury. If I was living by myself I'd be living more spartan, but I'd have a lot more freedom. I'm still looking for unis to do a cognitive science master. It'll take a while, if ever. In the meantime I'm also looking for jobs, and if a nice offer crosses my way I'll definitely take it. I think. A bit of extra money is always useful, but a bit of extra freedom is something I'd probably value more.

Ever heard of analysis paralysis? It means that you're thinking too much about a decision and the opportunity vanishes before you can make up your mind. I'm quite prone to that, mostly because of my personality, and also because I tend to structure my life to have several good alternatives available at any time. The more choices you realize you have, the more you will wonder after having made the decision if it wouldn't have been better to have done something else instead. I rarely experience this for the big decisions in life. Usually I'm quite sure about myself. But if it's about the little things, like how to spend the next hour, I end up doing something completely different. For example, I could choose between reading a good book or going cycling, but instead I spend my time surfing the net instead because I can't decide, or I start reading a book, then decide that give up halfway and decide that it would be better to go cycling instead.

I found that a lot of these choices seem a lot more difficult if you're not happy. It's hard for me to describe the kind of 'happy' you have to be to make choices like these easily solvable, but there is definitely a noticeable change in mental mood that affects the style of choosing. Happy people don't choose, they just are. Unhappy people spend all their lives worrying about whether or not they made the right decision or are going to make the right decision in the future. Hence "Don't worry, be happy". If I applied this to myself and my recent inability to choose, I'd have to conclude that I am unhappy.

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The last day!

Shut down

Today a colleague asked me out of the blue: "rv, do you like your work?". Before I could think about the question, I already answered "Yes, very much". I guess I do like my job, subconsciously.

I learned a lot of things this year. Jsp, Glassfish, Apache, Linux, MacOS, Objective-C, Cocoa and XCode etc. etc. I always have the feeling that I'm not making progress, but that's not true. Slowly but surely I'm becoming accustomed to a lot of things. Rather than homing in on Java like I did the years before, this year I had the chance to develop myself in other ways. Although I may not always like that with which I am confronted (XCode and Objective-C in particular..), I am happy for the chance to work with something different. And the iPhone is just awesome.

Happy new year to all! This blog will continue next year too, not as usual, and I'm planning an interesting storyline already :D

Posted in Daily Life , Spirit of Japan , Tech | Tagged , ,